Letter to my Kids

Dear kids,

When you where born I remember having the same thought, and as I heard the first sounds of life.  "How can I protect you from all the bad things you will face in life"?  This little person that was coming into the world and looking to me for answers.  I didn't have the answers myself, but I knew that each of you would be better than me!  As my grandfather would always say "Know better, do better"!  I was a young black man in a world full bigotry, hatred, misogyny, and lies and wondering why I would ever subject anyone else to this madness?  I made so many mistakes as I grew up and learned some tough lessons, and as I looked at the prospect of me being the person you learned from, I shuttered at the thought.  Time after time, I tried to live up to the expectations I had for myself and I failed every time.  My dreams, as I saw them never came true.  I was rude and evil to people at times, I did things I couldn't look to face myself in the mirror in the morning, and I am supposed to be the person to lead you to a better life?  But then, I talked to my grandparents and listened to the struggles they had.  Being born in the 20's and 30's with 6 plus kids, multicultural and racial backgrounds, 6th grade educations, systematic oppression, lack of opportunity, and still found a way to raise kids that aspired to be better and change their circumstances.  A generation later your grandfather becomes one of the wealthiest and most famous people on the planet, and a generation after that (me) your dad becomes the first person in our family to graduate from college.  The civil rights movement takes place, women's rights expanded, a love and peace culture was the binding force for most Americans, and then the first black president is elected!!!!  I have become a motivational speaker, consultant, and activist speaking out against sexual harassment & abuse, Domestic Violence, and Mental health issues to 1,000's of young military soldiers!  Ray Leonard Jr.,  The kid that thought all I could be was an athlete, entertainer, or deadbeat had become much more and learned from the lessons of my past.  So now I think maybe everything can change if our family and our culture has made so much progress in less than 100 years!!  But now I feel that same fear in my chest, that all the progress we have made is being  stripped away with a lack of respect for the truth and a rebirth of a culture war that was slowly fading.  A true lack of dignity and respect for your fellow human race.  So what do I give you?  I realized that I cannot protect you from every bad thing that happens, but I can prepare you how to act and react.  I can teach you about the correct way to treat someone, whether man, woman, or child.  I can show you examples of triumph over tragedy, and I can teach you the power of LOVE over FEAR!  I promise to do my very best every day to not just be the words of wisdom, but show the actions that match the expectation.  I will not be able to be there every time you fall, but I promise to be that lifeline when you are drowning, that shoulder to cry on when your heart is broken, and the direction you need when you waiver off course!  To my daughters, I want you to know that your dad is doing all I can to be a voice for you and other women to be cherished and respected and I take pride in the work that I have been doing the last few years to speak out against harassment and abuse and I hope I have been a part of this recent revolution of courage for people that didn't have a voice to finally have one!  To my sons, I want you to know that I get up every day determined to show the actions of what a MAN should be!  I Challenge you to be a leader and not a follower and treat everyone woman with the same respect you would your grandmother, mother, and sisters.  I encourage you all to not fall prey to the negative atmosphere and try more to listen and understand, than to over-talk and demand.  I pray that you never take a moment for granted and live life with a hopeful curiosity.  I ask you to be kind and always choose substance over Hype, Respect over Acceptance, and Dignity over Dollars!  I demand that you challenge me when I am wrong, and be support me when I am right and no one else is on board.  I will always be your biggest fan and the person in your corner when everyone else is gone.  #NoLoserTalk

​Love Dad